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Death From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (123 days old)

Another in my occasional series on morbid things. Word reached me today of the death of George Parkin. Though we used to play football together when we were kids and later on we were members of th… more

Sack Jeremy Clarkson From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (272 days old)

Probably the least popular title for a blog but if The X stands for anything, he stands for what he believes. I accept the Jeremy Clarkson is funny. I know that his shows are entertaining and very… more

How's the new job? From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (278 days old)

Thanks for asking: A few people have emailed to ask and rather than send a boring email I'm writing a boring blog instead. Some bloggers are obsessed with gaining hits by pretending to be interestin… more

Facebook ruined my life From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (284 days old)

We.......ll not really. But if Faceebook hadn't been invented then I wouldn't have left it 6 months since my last blog. Status changes are fine, but they do draw you away from blogging… more

Summit I put on the SNP website From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (399 days old)

Hiya all you Scots Natsos. Until today I had no opinion whatsoever on you lot until I played the video, on bbc.co uk, of John Prescott sticking 2 fingers up at some of you. It wasn't so much … more

Our eldest's new girlfriend From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (477 days old)

Meeting your young un's new girlfriend is almost as traumatic as meeting your own new girlfriend. They met on the internet. They got together. Somehow, seeing them together this evening was so ve… more

More Canterbury violence From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (477 days old)

My third and final (I hope) Cantabrian confrontation. Again this time I was walking a few yards form Canterbury city centre, having just said goodnight to my salsa partner. I was just untangling m… more

Canterbury Tales (part 2) From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (477 days old)

The second episode in my trilogy of dangerous occurances in the heart of Anglicism. I'm coming away from salsa one night; walking away from the city centre and toward the railway station. I had ju… more

Civic duty From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (493 days old)

I'm relaying this tale simply because it leads into my next posting so please bear with me. Four weeks ago I was on a train from Kent to London on my way home for the weekend. I had just finished … more

It’s about time I wrote something about me mam. From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (516 days old)

When I was 19 me mam was the only person in the world I loved. She’d been in slightly dodgy health for some months, maybe a year or two, previous. It never occurred to me for one moment she could ju… more

Deja vu aint what it used to be From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

I've been doing some sorting out. I've decided that having several blogs is in fact pointless and I've copied all the better stuff onto this one. If you're a regular reader then you may have read th… more

BBC vs BNP From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2008-02-12 - 10:19:34 The BBC have been raking about in the dustbins of a British political party. Is that the kind of behaviour we expect from a public service broadcaster? Before I continue, … more

Remember the name - Frances Finn From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-12-06 - 20:20:45 http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=6917911 … more

Tragedy of Gloucester From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-07-24 - 23:36:12 When does 50 millimetres become 2 inches? When a news reporter is trying to make something sound small. Over the last few days the scum have been refering to the rainall i… more

Security services slip up again From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-07-24 - 22:55:14 I note that two Daily Mirror journalists have been arrested attempting to plant a fake bomb on the London Underground. What a shame armed police didn't take the opportuni… more

Reason to despise weather forecasters No. 128 From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-07-15 - 23:54:11 "The bigger the hailstones are, the more severe the storm" - BBC News 24 weather numpty talking at 23:20 this evening about the storms he'd completely failed to predict … more

Lies, dam lies and news reporters From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-06-26 - 19:45:01 Reports say that the floods in Sheffield may have caused up to one hundred million pounds worth of improvements. But one group of charmless nerks are actually celebrating … more

The opposite of queue From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Today's media scare story is dodgy car fuel. I can't help but be amused at the failure of any semblence of a scientific approach to these reports. To me, there are obvious questions like: Ove… more

The Art and Genius of Scrabble From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

2007-12-14 - 13:50:01 This is a simple demonstration of what makes the difference between a decent Scrabble player and a World champion. This position is taken from a game in this year's World Cha… more

The Future's Bright - it's Red & White From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Sunday, Apr. 01, 2007 - 02:29:23 You may or may not have noticed but Sunderland haven't lost a league game this year. If you're from gypsy stock (like I suspect I might be) you probably think that… more

Steve McClaren - it's simple... From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Sunday, Mar. 25, 2007 - 00:46:32 I'm ashamed to say that I happen to know that Steve McClaren is a regular reader of my blog and this is a personal message to him. So my apologies to all of you wh… more

The Most Priveliged Footbal Fans From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Saturday, Mar. 17, 2007 - 02:39:10 You might not realise how good it is to be a Sunderland fan. You probably think that we are a yoyo team whose trophy room doubles as the vacuum cleaner cupbo… more

6 Nations in my personal order From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007 - 13:52:48 Now that I'm a rugby fan, I thought it is only fair for me to rank the 6 teams in order that I'd like them to win - if that makes sense. 1. Ireland: Because I'… more

Rugby Fans: An Apology From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007 - 22:32:20 A few years ago I made the important recognition that poking fun at someone or attempting to ridicule them is in fact merely an attempt to cover your own shortcomi… more

The best second of my year so far From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007 - 21:33:23 Like all evil things, there's a scrap of goodness about Sky tv. And that scrap is its 24 hour free sports news channel. It has become a bit of a family ritual for … more

10 memorable things... From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Monday, 17. Dec, 2007 - 19:33:32 ...that me and D did this weekend 1. I pulled down a laurel tree branch so he could retreive a leaf that he particularly fancied 2. I played 'Jingle Bells' i… more

The most depressing book ever From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Thursday, 13. Dec, 2007 - 02:49:23 I've been putting off reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins because I knew what was in it, however I was recently loaned a copy by a friend and I am now … more

Modern Romance and that From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Sunday, 09. Dec, 2007 - 14:10:20 Yesterday, I manged to find a quiet moment with my wife and plucked up the courage to confess. I admitted to her that I'd been doing it with other women. It wa… more

Some sloppy stuff From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Monday, 19. Nov, 2007 - 01:29:22 Another in a series of things I have been doing..... I've been sort of wandering around in my mind over the last 36 hours (a) trying to remember some of the bits … more

The lonliness of the long distance statistician From Xylophone in What does the X stand for? (529 days old)

Wednesday, 31. Oct, 2007 - 22:28:31 Just a quick update on my life... (this is not funny, nor fascinating. If you want to be entertained read some of my other stuff instead - it's fecking brilli… more